OutRageous!

Well, life has taken a turn for the worse. I am sorry to report that I have been forced to file an official complaint with Parents Plc. This is what I have submitted:

Dear(ish) Mother and Father

I feel it is imperative that I point out that tonight, Thursday 30th October, I was not fed an evening meal until 10.10pm. I was fed 'breakfast' at approximately 12.58pm (which I would like to point out would technically be lunch since it was 'pm') and therefore 9 hours and 12 minutes elapsed between meals.

In that time, I played with Dylan (extensively and energetically), I stayed home alone with Dylan while you 'shopped' (emotional trauma which saps much energy), I walked up AND down a mountain and I entertained customers.

I feel that today's feeding schedule has been woefully inadequate considering the Hard Work I have undertaken. I feel let down. I feel glum.

Please let me know what reparations I can expect (the tiny piece of pizzle I reluctantly accepted at close of pub time does not count) and what improvements you intend to put in place to ensure this Never Happens Again.

Yours(ish)

Clive

I await a reply and will now retire to bed. Their bed.

Ha!