So I have now extensively pondered on Mum and Dad's (quite frankly outrageous) list of things I need to ponder upon. Actually I finished pondering on them last week but I like to keep them waiting sometimes to keep them on their toes. I have some statements to make.
1. If another Blue Roan who looked very like me and behaved very like me took my place, I think Mum and Dad would find it very hard to spot the difference as they are a bit slow about these things. I have them on a technicality there, definitely, so their first point is null and void.
2. I believe that one cannot have too high an opinion of oneself. If I don't think I'm great, why should anyone else? And since loads of other people think I'm great, I must be onto a winner with this theory. Therefore, Mum and Dad are wrong on this point too (bit of a pattern emerging here).
3. I must concede that a small amount of fun does, on occasion, take place. Sometimes. Maybe.
4. I decided to answer this point with practical action and have been proving just how much I can still dislike That Whippet everyday since last Wednesday. Mum is convinced I am in the grip of a 'cyclical hormone rush' (whatever that is - I think she made it up to cover up the fact she doesn't know what I was up to). Both parents having failed to recognise that I was proving a point with decisive action just proves my earlier theorisation of Mum and Dad being slow (see point 1). I'm right again.
So that's at least 3 and 3/4 of the points they raised going in my favour. If not more. Actually I think it is definitely more like 3 and 7/8 of the points going in my favour.
Despite me having this real and moral victory, I must declare I have decide against the Dog Swap. I am unfortunately a slave to my creature comforts and, whatever their other faults, Mum and Dad are not all that bad at providing for me. I only have to prompt them from time to time (see the thing about them being slow again...).
So, for now, I shall suspend plans to leave and work on refining the offer that I receive at home.
But that's just a suspension, hear that parents? Better get ready for some major belly rubbing sessions, just to convince me I am right to stick around!