Wednesday, 4 July 2012

A license for Wild Swimming? Seriously?

Okay I am mystified. I didn't even know that swimming could be any other way? Well, yes alright I know you people have these weird things called 'swimming pools' that we're banned from. Quite frankly, I don't know why you would want to use them anyway when we are surrounded by glorious water! And I'm not making a sarcastic comment about the rain.

Now I look into it I find that there is an abundance of Wild or Outdoor Swimming organisations. What is wrong with you people? It's simple. So here is my guide to wild swimming.

See some water. Don't waste time with special kit or safety briefings, just head on in. As you see here, if you're lucky enough to have larger ears you can use them to propel you forward a bit faster.

Now swim! Just do it, that's what the wet stuff's for. Just a note, if you are advanced enough to do carry a ball, don't drop it. Seriously. You'll be gutted if it sinks and believe me, all balls are not equal when it comes to floating or sinking. It's the big con of the dog toy world.

At some point, you're going to have to get out. Sorry, but you'll start to rot eventually and that would be gross. Remember that ball!

If you're indulging in coastal wild swimming, I can highly recommend some post-swim seaweed love. Chew but don't swallow. Not unless you like throwing up in the car on the way home, in which case, fill your boots!

And if, like me, you are rather practised in the art of 'wild' swimming, why not take it further? Here's me walking water. A great option for enjoying the blue stuff without actually bothering with full body immersion.

No membership needed. What more is there to it...?


Dan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dan Graham said...

Great blog post. Love it!

Clive, we are thinking about running some dog friendly wild swimming holidays in North Wales later this year. Is that something that you think your humans would be interested in? Or are you the only swimmer in the pack?

Cheers, Dan (Gone Swimming)

Susie-Belle Schnauzer said...

Love your thinking Clive, made me smile a lot :)

Anonymous said...

My dog's a wild swimmer too. Seaweed is a particular favourite, but it's very good for you. As for balls, Honey works on recycling and resusing by finding old ones that have been washed up. She particularly likes to swap a new rubber one or an expensive floating kong for a split, bare tennis ball :)

Gemini Adams said...

Adorable!! As I'm off Wild Swimming today I couldn't resist reading this : )

Clive said...

Thanks for the comments guys and great to hear there is more seaweed love out there :)

Dan - have canvassed opinion with my Pa who I go swimming with in our local river, but apparently the pub can't spare us for a holiday. Sounds great though.