Tuesday, 19 May 2009

I have been violated!!!!!

Shock. Horror. The most fell deed imaginable. Betrayed by my own mother!!!!

Please, if you are of a squeamish nature, I beg that you look away now. And no, Bran, there are no photos.

The truth is...I can hardly bare to say it. Here goes...

I have been unmanned! Yes! I, Clive, am two peas short of a pod! Or should that be two pods short? Well, however you like to put it, I am no longer the man I once was. My short and curlies have been shaved as well so I look like an overgrown puppy whose pods haven't even shown up to the party yet.

The Shame.

I really thought, at the grand age of 3 1/2, that I had gotten away with it. That Whippet had been unmanned since before he came to live with us, and to be honest he's such a girl anyway he'll have hardly noticed any difference. But me! How can I strut my manly stuff now?

The worst of it is I've hardly had anything at all to eat since 7pm yesterday evening. Mother seems to think a tiny bit of roast chicken when I arrived home will be sufficient, but she should know better!

I am overcome by feelings of loss. I will retire.



Sarah and Bran said...

Oh Clive :o( You poor, poor thing. I'm quite sure that my mother would never do anything this awful to me. I am a MAN. Rather disappointed at the lack of photos, but I'll let it go for now. Hope you feel better soon, mate.

Big manly hugs,

Bran the Man xxx

Domi said...

Poor thing. I'm sure after all that you must be starving! Hope that whippet didn't get the dinner that they wouldn't let you have.


Ruby Isabella said...

You will always be all man to me.