Clive

Clive

Sunday 8 April 2012

Now that's more like it!


What a fabulous day! I hope this is a sign of things to come.

Dad seems to have come to his senses and left that dreadful collie whippet behind on our run this morning. Not only is he dreadful in general, but when we go out with the bike he turns into the most annoying version of his already annoying self..

Now me, I follow the bikes. If I get ahead (and being the athlete I am I occasionally do) I go to one side and politely wait for them to pass. If I get too far behind (you know, when a sniff just can't be ignored or nature calls) they politely wait for me. It is a mutually beneficial way of behaving and is just the way I like things.

That collie simply cannot contain himself, he has no self control whatsoever. He runs along just in front of the bike, literally tail touching the wheel if he can. He also barks continuously and at deafening volume, and most stupidly of all runs looking over his shoulder back at the bike. Sadly no cavernous hole has opened up just in front of him to fall into yet, but I live in hope. It makes for a very noisy run.

Today was like a dream come true. There was the quiet whirr of the bikes, the call of the buzzards overhead, the gentle chat of biking comrades. And nothing else. Glorious glorious peace.

May you raise a toast to absent collie whippets.

Absent, mind you.

Tuesday 3 April 2012

Tripping the tripe fantastic!

I am assured that the vegan cook books are for human use only. Not yet completely reassured, though I was delighted to find that I had tripe for lunch today. Apparently, now I am a super fit slim diggity hound (you would expect nothing less from a triathlete of course) I am allowed this divine treat.

It has, in fact, made me a little thoughtful. You may have noticed I am dedicated to my food. And your food. And anyones really to be honest. I just love it with all of my soul. But I have to admit to feeling really rather sparky these days. I had no winter fat this year, no jiggle on my Richard Gere arse (oh yes, believe me, it's the spit) and I have a higher top speed than ever before which comes in mightily handy when chasing recalcitrant collie whippets who sadly have a smug turn of speed.

Now I haven't in any way lost my adoration of a giant pile of food. I could no more do that than turn into a monkey. But...perhaps I have lost a little of my desperation?

You don't think I'm becoming middle aged do you?

Euch.

Sunday 1 April 2012

A Terrifying Discovery

There are vegan cook books in the house. I am literally shaking in my fur. Not just one, nor even two but three.

Three! It can't be a mistake. It must be a mistake. A moment of madness? Holding them for someone else? Withholding them from someone else? Presumably for their own good. Yes, that must be it. Nothing to do with our family diet. No. That is ludicrous.

What was I thinking to panic.

Don't panic.

Don't.

Please.